You mother was an ostrich and your father smelled of kelp!

If your pebbles were any smaller they'd be sand!

You're so popular you spend all winter on the outside of the circle.

If an orca accidentally caught you, it'd spit you back onto the beach.

I'm not good on Penguin-oriented insults. I prefer to direct them at the flabby horde of bubble-headed, microgenitalised, indolent lackwits that constitute much of the rest of humanity.