You are clearly no relation to the other Penguin who, along with his mates the Joker and the Riddler, would have no qualms about making off with all the sauce and the contents of the till.

In the matter of your dilemma, remember that this is merely one of an infinite number of possible universes, and in at least one of these you did take the sauce home!

On the other hand, speaking from experience (specifically featuring a particular species of burger) I can tell you that stuff like that never tastes as good at home as it does in the restaurant. Ambience is everything.