You are acknowledging a weakness many share. The inability to find your own meaning, define your own morals and live on your own terms.

I find all the meaning I need in the faces of my children and grandchildren. I define my own ethics and morals around the notions of fairness and decent treatment for everyone. I give help when and where it's needed.

I'm not always kind, because not everyone needs kindness. I'm not nice, because it's not in my nature and because sometimes you have to be a bastard to get the best outcome. I don't do what I ought to do, but what I need to do to get the job done.

On the whole, I've done as much good in the world as one not very bright, very ordinary, person can do in the teeth of a corrupt and lazy system.

I don't need a deity looking over my shoulder to do this. Neither do you.