Welcome to the human race! In case you haven't noticed, we're all in the same boat! Parenting is hard, work is hard, life makes no sense and every time you get three steps forward, you get knocked two back.

I'm 64, I have arthritis, anxiety, depression, two grown up kids, three grandkids (one neurodivergent, one Type 1 diabetic and one fiend incarnate with big blue eyes and a grin that lights the room up), elderly and frail parents and a chronically-ill wife. I've reached the 'fuck it' stage. I've quit worrying about who I am or what my life is like or should be like. I do what needs be done, when it has to be done, the best way I can, and that's it! No what ifs, no cudda-shudda, done. Next!

You keep overthinking, you're going to melt your brain. Take your meds, give up the navel-gazing, love the kid and get on with the job to hand. The others aren't going anywhere, tackle them when you need to.

BTW, a friend coming over for a play-date is not 'company'. Whatever you do beforehand, by the time they leave, the place will look like a bomb hit it anyway! If it doesn't, they weren't having fun.