Um. My Dad used to tell us:

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse

the snow was raining fast

a bare footed man with clogs on

came walking running past

he turned around a straight crooked corner

to see a dead donkey die

he pulled out his pistol to stab him

the donkey spat in his eye

next day he went to the theatre

he had a front seat at the back

he fell from the floor to the gallery

and broke a front bone in his back

a lady gave him a plain fruit bun

so he ate it and gave it her back

the band struck up and wouldn't play

so he sat down and ran away

I'm not entirely sure why he told us that, but it may have had a permanent effect on me!