Traditionally. I should begin with a line like "Far be it from me to disagree with so distinguished a Penguin." But as anyone who knows me will be aware, I'll disagree with anyone, anytime, anywhere - I am the Martini of disagreeableness. (Obscure reference alert).

Now I was also a bookish youth. "He reads a lot." Said parents. So aunts uncles and grandparents bought me books, far too many of which were perpetrated by Enid Blyton.

Disregarding her politics - slightly to the right of Attila the Hun, but typical of the times - she has another thing in common with a modern-day childrens' writer. Neither she nor JK Rowling can write worth a damn! To be fair, JK Rowling had one good idea that she made stretch over seven books. Enid Blyton had seven commonplace plots she more or less copied and pasted into a hundred books each. Both of them share pedestrian prose and limited vocabulary used with a singluar lack of flair.

Now I am no literary genius, but then I don't crack on to be one. I'm a fanfiction writer, that's all. But even I would be ashamed to turn out such commonplace blah as Enid Blyton got rich on.

I hated the books as a kid. Fortunately, Dad camt or my rescue wioth a covert but steady supply of Richmal Crompton, Conan Doyle, HP Lovecraft, M R James and Edgar Allen Poe!