There's certain peace to be had in ageing. I have a dodgy knee, and I'm stiffer in the joints than I once was. But I can grumble and be cranky now without upsetting people. Nobody expects you to do jobs immediately or quickly, or more than one a day. There are no more expectations. You can wear what you like. You can turn on the charm, and nice young ladies and gentlemen will leap to your assistance. You can rub in the acid, and self-important jobsworths will cower. Even the most idealistic young doctor, pressing you to 'get help' with smoking and alcohol consumption, watch your diet and take exercise, wilts before a simple "Does your mother know you're out?"

You may not have done everything you set out to do or said you'd do, but you can look back on what you have done and realise it wasn't so bad after all. You are no longer nervous or scared because you've realised that nothing is new, it's just the old stuff in a different outfit.

Aches and pains? Just the best excuse for sitting back and letting some other daft bugger do the heavy lifting! That's what youngsters are for, right?