Member-only story
The Most Dangerous Place On Earth
To the tune of “English Country Garden”
How many secrets lurk behind the lace
In an English country village?
I’ll tell you now of some that I know
It will completely wreck the image!
Blackmail at the Vicarage
The Squire’s new squeeze is underage
The Colonel’s a crackhead, can’t keep him calm
Incest on the farm, where the kids live in the barn
In an English country village
How many kinds of death can you face
In an English country village?
I’ll tell you now of some that I know
(Please avoid that toxic spillage)
Arsenic in the fairy cakes
Falling onto fencing stakes
Roasting alive in a big wicker man
Accidents when shooting
Phosphorescent hounds
In an English country village
How many monsters lurk around the place
In an English country village?
I’ll tell you now of some that I know
And leave you to envisage
Weeping Angels in the crypt
Zombies with their clothes all ripped
Vampires, werewolves and bloodsucking moths
Giant ants in the quarry
Aliens in the woods
In an English country village
Daleks, don’t forget the Daleks. Daleks, don’t forget the Daleks!
