Member-only story
The Grouch Is In
It’s the little things…
Sometimes, you have to forget the big issues that piss you off. You have to do that so you can concentrate on the little things that make your daily life into a stream of micro-rages. These are deeply personal, and we all have them, so in a spirit of sharing, here are a few of mine.
Lackwits in shops
Look, I’m only 63, but for the last year or so I’ve had an arthritic knee. It hurts some of the time, it’s always weak and it means I need a stick to get around. So I need to ask why this aging, portly gentleman with the trick knee and the stick can apparently move faster than a perfectly healthy, much younger person? Because few things arouse my wrath like being stuck behind a thirtysomething in a shop who is droodling along the aisles at a pace that would not discommode an elderly slug or a three-legged tortoise! Will you get a bloody move on! I’ve better things to do than spend all day here, even if you haven’t!
While we’re about it, what’s with all the wandering around, gawping gormlessly? Not to mention the stopping in mid-aisle, trolley at an angle that blocks any hope of passage, to stare intently at some product or other. What, you’ve never seen packet soup before? Look, quarterwit, you either know what you came for, or you don’t! If you do, then proceed at a smart pace to the…
