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The Authentic Eclectic
News Round-Up
The latest seasonal reports
Good evening.
Reports are coming in that several people have been arrested for trespass, traffic and public order offences. Police were called in by a number of farmers who claimed that their fields had been inundated by people who laughed all the way. Officers detained a number of people who were dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, equipped with a number of bells. Several people have been given warnings for not wearing seatbelts and released on police bail pending further enquiries. The sleigh has been impounded for a safety inspection and the RSPCA are considering a prosecution regarding the overloading of the horse, which is now in their care.
Customs officers have detained three men on suspicion of smuggling. A routine inspection discovered undeclared quantities of gold, frankincense and myrrh in their luggage. Enquiries continue.
Police have confirmed that the young couple taken into custody for child neglect earlier today are the same pair that were cautioned two days ago for the ill-treatment of a donkey. The married couple were found in a barn, where they had placed their tightly-bound day-old baby boy in a feeding trough. Social Services have been alerted and the child taken into care, he is said to be…
