My father was physically present - when not at work - but emotionally unavailable. Partly my fault as I was bookish rather than athletic - we might have bonded over sport had I had the slightest interest. But also, as a man of his generation, he was stoic and reserved.

I made the conscious decision to be there for my kids, to listen and support without judging and to cuddle when needed. I do not and did not think it in any way compromised my masculinity. But then perhaps I have a different definition of maleness.