It's hard, because neither of us is able to truly articulate or think beyond the anthropocentric view.

The closest I can come, in human language, is to say 'We don't know, we will never know, it doesn't matter, we don't matter." Now that will be labelled as nihilism, which carries negative connotations purely because of the dominance of human egotism.

The same human egotism that makes all notions of God anthropomorphic. Even the eternal Absolute of some systems, or the impersonal Dao of others, are anthropomorphic, because in some manner they call us to them, to merge with and become part of them.

We are limited by our senses and the way our intelligence evolved. We see things only in regard to ourselves.

If there is a first cause, then it is not intelligent in any way we understand, and it would not have any kind of reason or seek any meaning we would understand. From our viewpoint, there is far too much stuff going on. If there was a reason that lies within our comprehension, the Universe would be far smaller and simpler, much less diverse, than it is.

So we either gaze into the abyss until it swallows us and our egos, or we strive to transcend our human limitations and become something else, something greater. Those who are content to gaze into the abyss call it God. Others look for God and find only a mirror in which they worshp their own distorted image.