I would never describe myself as an ally because to me it always sounds as if I'm being patronising - not sure why, just a gut reaction.

Of course I see colour - I'm not blind. Do I judge on it - I try very hard not to! I don't judge on how you dress, either. Your colour you were born with, your dress-sense or lack thereof is none of my business.

I judge on what you say, what you do, and how you behave, and I expect you to do the same with me. I'm not going to change anything about myself because you don't like it, and I don't expect you to change to suit my likes or dislikes. I don't care what you think of me, and you shouldn't care what I think of you.

It may not be an inclusive, embracing, warm and fuzzy attitude, but if more people would behave like this, there'd be less trouble.