I prefer the following:

1: Well, I don't have self-image issues.

2: That's not why I'm writing it.

3: It's supposed to cover it, not flatter it.

4: And unlike her, I don't have my head up your arse, either.

5: So what?

6: I have green skin?

7: Well I needed some help to simplify it so you could understand it

8: No, I just don't like arseholes

9: Then shut up so I can

10: Or the legs

Alternately, 'fuck off' will work for all of them and many more.

Worth rememering that you get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you do with just a kind word.