I do feel for your personal situation, and understand how being involved in such events personally can alter your perception of similar ones you're not involved in.

That said, it must be borne in mind that habit has so much to do with these things. I was born in the late 1950s to parents who had grown up during WW2. As a result of that war, my parents had inherited from their parents distrust of the Germans and contempt for the French and Americans. It was those feelings for the French and Germans that ed to Brexit. Many people my age lost friends and family to the Provisional IRA, and thus despise the Irish. Add to that the Cold War, and the generational feeling that Russia was the looming menace to the East. For my generation, it is not hard to choose support for Ukraine, because we were brought up to believe that a Rusian attack on the West was inevitable.

As to the Arab-Israeli issue, many Western countries support Israel out of a sense of shame for their antisemitic pasts and fear of being accused of it again.

I'm no longer young, and have seen far too much to even consider taking a side anymore. But one thing I have learned is that, once everything hits the fan, there are no innocent civilians in the eyes of the combatants. There are active supporters, enablers or the merely complicit: the innocents are in jail or dead, or ran away. So then, the only safe rule for the soldiers becomes 'Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out!"

Also, sad but true, if there is conflict between two sides, one of which refuses to use violence and one that is willing to, the violent side wins. Unless we can get the whole world to forswear violence (and that won't happen), we are going to keep on havig to fight. If somehow the whole world became non-violent, then we'd probably be invaded by violent aliens!