From a purely practical standpoint, this can be difficult. My wife has had health issues for some time. This has necessitated doctor and hospital appointments of various kinds. We always discuss these, and if she feels able to manage on her own, fine. But if she needs or wants my presence and support, she asks me to come. When she is too unwell to cope at home, I stay at home with her to look after her. That does not make me a saint, of course it doesn’t.

But in the eyes of my manager, it makes me a slacker. I have taken in medical information, I have spoken to HR and management. Everyone I work with knows the situation. But every one-to-one meeting brings up the mention of my taking time off and of how it shows a lack of commitment to the organisation and my job. In a world where men in particular are expected by their employers to be focused, 24/7/365, on their job and that alone, being there for your loved ones can cost you your living!