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Evening round-up from Fictionland
Good evening. This is the evening news with me, Generic Narrator.
Reports are coming in that arrests have been made in the Campsite Murders case. A massive police hunt was launched after the bodies of four children, Julian, Dick and Anne Kirrin and their cousin Georgina, were found strangled near their tents in a generic rural area in southern England. There was also a dog, Timmy, who was alive but had clearly been beaten up by a much larger dog. This afternoon, police stopped a suspect vehicle -a large van with ‘Mystery Machine’ painted on the side. Four young Americans were subsequently arrested and have been remanded in custody, while the RSPCA are holding a Great Dane which was with them. One of the suspects is recorded as saying “We just had enough of those meddling kids!”. Our correspondent on the scene is Wurzel Gummidge. Wurzel, have there been any more developments”
“Ooh ar Mr Narrator, zur! They do say around ‘ere that them there Kirrin kids was roight menaces! All posh and public-school, loike, but proper tearaways! Mr Toad down at Toad ‘All ‘as ‘ad ’em for trespassin’ no end o’ toimes. So ‘as Mr Badger in the Woild Wood. An’ Mr Water Rat as lives down by the River do say that they was always doin’ their washin’ up and emptyin’ their wee tins roight near ‘is front door!
