A Doom of Rodents

Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!

Tony Atkinson
5 min readSep 15

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Photo by Daniil Komov on Unsplash

I have written of the mouse Dylan beat to death with my briefcase: (https://medium.com/@argonaut57/the-cat-who-used-a-blunt-instrument-5e6bed465cc4)

I have recounted the tale of Cupcake the Demon Hamster: (https://medium.com/@argonaut57/the-cat-who-used-a-blunt-instrument-5e6bed465cc4)

But it seems that the member of the order Rodentia are not done with me yet!

Rodents (from Latin rodere, ‘to gnaw’) are mammals of the order Rodentia (/roʊˈdɛnʃə/), which are characterized by a single pair of continuously growing incisors in each of the upper and lower jaws. About 40% of all mammal species are rodents. They are native to all major land masses except for New Zealand, Antarctica, and several oceanic islands, though they have subsequently been introduced to most of these land masses by human activity. (Wikipedia)

(I find it impossible not to mention that, as well as 40% of all mammal species, at least 30% of humans can be defined as rodents — but that’s a tale for another time!).

Our male cat Ziggy, aka Kronk, aka ‘the ginger floof’, has been with us for a year now, and is approaching full growth (we hope!). He is a largish cat, though not approaching the stature of the legendary Buddy, who was once mistaken for a dog. He has also decided to start hunting.

Right off the bat, I will tell you that we have no problem with this. Cats are predators and were domesticated primarily for their prowess at disposing of small vermin such as mice and rats. (However, for large vermin, such as estate agents, teenagers, Jehovahs’ Witnesses and Tory canvassers, I recommend a two-by-four.) Those supposedly ‘humane’ characters who tie bells onto cats to prevent them from hunting successfully are, to my mind, guilty of the most egregious cruelty! No cat is ever quite sane, of course, but the poor little things with bells on their collars are invariably more neurotic than most!

In any event, while Ziggy is mastering the stalk and catch he is, like Dylan before him, lacking when it comes to the kill. Thus far, he has brought in two mice and a bird — both successfully captured and released.

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Tony Atkinson

Snapper-up of unconsidered trifles, walker of paths less travelled by. Writer of fanfiction. Player of games. argonaut57@gmail.com